Dad! Dad! DAAAAD!

Dad! Dad! DAAAD!...Was a familiar sound you would of heard around my house when I was growing up in Starksboro vt. It wasn't a desperate call...it was just a call looking for Dad and being to lazy to get up and find him. History repeats again in my family. Except it is usually a DAAAAAD! Can you...(get me some water, cover me up, fix the computer, say a prayer in my room). Well, dad the Dad yelling tradition has been carried on. Love you and happy heaven birthday.

If I only knew what I know now back then.

I daydreamed of what I would do in certain events in my past if I knew what I know now back then. I wonder if I would be different or change my life. I picture myself going back in time to my younger body of 16 or 17 with the knowledge, skills and perhaps the maturity that I have now. There have been movies and TV shows based on this concept. "17 again", "Big", and even a short lived TV show Based on this concept.
Now, why do I daydream like this? Am I not satisfied with myself? Am I going through a mid-life crisis? Am I just thinking of my youthful self. Well it dawned on me...Why don't I pretend that I am older say 60 or 70 and I think of when I was/am 45. What would I change now that my older self would know? Yes, I can't predict the future but I can have the attitude of predicting the future. For example would my 70 year old self say..."I wish I exercised more and kept that up"? The reason I say this is in my Fantasies of going back to my younger self I picture myself being more confident and starting routines like Martial arts or exercising more with better confidence. Why not start that now. I've heard that it's all in how you perceive things. I can "fake" the future and than do something based on that "fake" future prediction. I'll try to be logical about it so that I will not do foolish things. This is an interesting concept that I will dwell on some more.

It's My Birthday!

I feel much more positive now that it is my birthday. I woke up feeling one year older but happy.

I called the movie agents company phone # to follow-up on my tv script. It was 8:00am in California, so I got the voice mail. Boy, I was very nervous about this call. But, I did it. We shall see what happens now!

I called Denis a day early and he couldn't believe that it has been 45 years.

Just before a birth

Tomorrow is my birthday. When the clock turns 9:46 am tomorrow I will be 45 years old. I promised my dad that I would call Dennis Wheeler (see post on Thursday, Nov. 04, 2010) every year on my birthday. In the past 8 years since my dad passed on...I have kept this promise.
I feel melancholy about my birthday, because of the housing situation my family is in now. We rent and need to sell our house because of deal that has falling through. So, some tough choices may have to be made.
Perhaps I will feel different on my actual birthday.